Sunday, March 1, 2015

More News from the PlanNot

You may find it hard to believe but I don’t get offended very easily. On the other hand I've learned to not put up with other people’s crap, and I guess that would qualify too many as being offended. If I take you back about 14 years to a time when I was fat, and miserable, feeling worthless and whatnot, I joined a gym and started taking care of some of my more obvious issues. It didn't take me too long to deal with the most obvious issue, and get myself into shape.

That’s basically what people should do when they need to change something about themselves. My membership number at Planet Fitness was only four digits, and there were only two Planet Fitness gyms. I could afford the $20 a month, and I didn't need to pay extra for tanning and all that. Since that time the place has boomed, and opened lots of gyms (oops they aren't called gyms anymore) and has changed their mission statement over and over again.

"We at Planet Fitness are here to provide a unique environment in which anyone – and we mean anyone – can be comfortable. A diverse, Judgment Free Zone® where a lasting, active lifestyle can be built. Our product is a tool, a means to an end; not a brand name or a mold-maker, but a tool that can be used by anyone. In the end, it’s all about you. As we evolve and educate ourselves, we will seek to perfect this safe, energetic environment, where everyone feels accepted and respected."

That’s good to know since somewhere along the way, I started having to hide under baggy clothes and be ashamed of the fact that I was no longer the fat, divorced weakling who couldn't bench press 40lbs, and just prayed every day I went in there that the stupid lunk alarm wouldn't be played with. Regardless of why they did it people would stare at me. When they finally threw me out for wearing the same pair of jean shorts I had been wearing for 7 years there, I did finally get fed up with not qualifying for “Judgment Free” status, and joined another gym which cost me an extra $10 a month but skipped all the bull crap.

That was until I moved to a town where the only two choices I had for gym was Planet Fitness, or the $60 a month one that was open 6 hours a day, and always packed. Back to the Planet I went with my tail between my legs and just resorted to going in at 2am where nobody would bother me. On a brighter note it has been a lot better for me to get up early and work out. On a worse note, you still have to put up with hypocrisy that is just sickening at times.

This was their new ad playing every hour over the gym speakers today, “Here at Planet Fitness we are a Judgment Free zone so we don’t put up with lunks, and we have the lunk alarm to alert everyone to when someone is being a lunk,” and my mind heard that and said “Are you @#$%ing kidding me?” You know the only time they ever set off the lunk alarm for me was when a machine I was using broke, banging both of my knees and I had to perch there on my hands and knees for a minute before I could go kill the a-holes that set off the alarm behind the desk? Nope they didn't check to see if I was ok, they just “Not Judged, and went back to not judging the girls as they came in.”

My wife pointed out to me that I have been overly egotistical a lot lately, but the fact of the matter is, I have just decided to bring my ego to where it belongs. All of the world beating people down for accomplishing something has gotten old, and I don't hide under baggy clothes anymore, or apologize for looking at myself in the mirror. Get @#$%ed because I put a lot of work into this body and if I want to look at it in the mirror I will. I've since started getting really sharp toothed with the envious among us, because they are destroying the world.

Pissed off this morning from it all I came home and found this old Daily Show spot on Planet Fitness that made me smile, and I figured I would share it here, after I ranted a little. Have a nice day!